Why Show Up Club

I started counselling in January. I can’t explain it, but I knew that it was time, because I felt like was about to explode.

On my first session, she read back all of the things I’d written on the enquiry form. Listening to that, and someone reading to me how I was feeling was quite honestly one of the most brutal moments of my life. I hadn’t even realised how bad things had got inside my own head.

Bottling up is my default. But what I’d done is literally close the valve on every single event in the last 25 years and tried to “carry on as normal”.

People pleasing, going out of my way to make things easier for others at my own detriment, not speaking up out of fear if I heard something I didn’t like, not grieving for things I could never have, and allowing manipulation in different situations across most of my adult life.

So we started to unpick…

It’s been brutal beyond words.

But every Thursday for the last 9 months, that session has helped me in more ways I can even describe.

In July, I switched from regular counselling to CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). This has been a game changer. This has addressed why I have the behaviours I do, how I manage that, and has helped me start to reprogram how I think about myself.

Showing Up for myself this year has been a really really hard thing to do, and be consistent with, but the outcome is that the rest of my life will not be spent in the same way.

I feel confident to say no, I feel confident to walk away from anything that doesn’t align with me, I can stop my own destructive thoughts, and have tools to help me in relapse.

Lots of people join a gym, or start a new diet to take control of their health. Taking control of my mental health was essential.

Yesterday got discharged from therapy .

Today I got the Leo sign on my hand, so I look down and am reminded that I’m actually a lion.

Thanks for reading. I hope this space we’re creating, and the clothes we're producing encourages you to show up for yourself.

Claire x